Goodbye
by GirlyGeek
Summary: After Arl Eamon is cured by Andraste's ashes, Alona Amell and Jowan say goodbye to each other...for the very last time.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything pertaining to the Dragon Age franchise...unfortunately.

* * *

**Goodbye**

* * *

_...Dungeons at Redcliffe Castle..._

Sitting in his cold, dark cell, Jowan stared at the hard, stone floor and contemplated his life-every, single decision that had led up to this point.

Had it all been worth it?

Anders certainly would have thought so. Was that not _why_ the blond healer was always attempting to escape the Circle? While Jowan had never openly admitted it, he had always looked up to Anders—had always admired the younger man for his bravery in the face of the Circle and the Templars. Anders had _never _stood by and blindly allowed his decisions to be made for him. Even as a child, the blond mage had a streak of rebellion running through him, but it never _truly_ manifested until he had reached his teen years. _That_ was when the escape attempts had started.

Anders had been desperate for freedom…but more than that, he had been desperate for _love_. All the younger man had wanted was the freedom to love someone…_anyone_. Jowan did not think Anders was particularly picky in regards to his partner. He had seen his young friend looking with longing at girls just as readily as boys, and while Jowan could not understand Anders' attraction to both genders, he could nevertheless understand the desire to have someone special with whom to share a life.

_Especially _when he met Lily.

Jowan closed his eyes with a sigh. "Lily... " What had become of her? Alona had said that she did not know. Lily...the _one_ thing Jowan had ever _truly _wanted for himself...

And now she was gone forever.

All Jowan wanted was a life with her. Lily had accepted him and loved him even though he was a mage and she was promised to the Chantry. They had found love in spite of their situation, and to them, it was worth risking everything. But then everything had gone so _very_ wrong.

Jowan's current surroundings were a screaming testimony to that.

The sound of footsteps prompted Jowan to tense in his shoulders, and he clenched his hands upon his knees as he prepared himself for the inevitable. How strange though, that the footfalls lacked the tell-tale clunk of the armored boots favored by the Templars...

When Jowan opened his eyes, it was not to find a Templar or even one of the castle guards. It was to find none other than Alona Amell gazing mournfully at him through the bars of the cell. Alona's normally calm, emerald eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her cheeks were stained with her tears. It was the first and _only_ time Jowan had _ever_ seen his friend cry, and it ripped at his heartstrings like nothing else ever had. "Alona..." his voice was a whisper as he stood and stepped towards the bars of his cell.

"I tried," Alona whispered in a wavering voice as she stepped close to the bars. "I tried to get you released...I begged and pleaded on my knees, but Arl Eamon would not be swayed. He wouldn't even let me conscript you into the Grey Wardens."

"You begged for my life?" Jowan asked softly in disbelief. "You _begged_? For _me_?"

"For all the good it did me. Templars are coming for you to take you back to the Circle," Alona replied bitterly. "Jowan...I am _so_ sorry. I failed you." She blinked away her tears when Jowan's hands slipped through the bars and gently grabbed a hold of hers.

"Dearest, _sweetest_ Alona," Jowan murmured while gazing earnestly into his friend's eyes. "From the moment Lily and I asked for your help, you have done nothing but stick your neck out for me at every turn. It is me..._I_ am the one who has failed, my most treasured friend. _Not_ you..._me_."

"It can't end like this," Alona wept. "It _can't_! I will break you out. Stand back so I can melt the lock. If you run now, you'll get a head start. The Templars will never find you with your phylactery broken."

"No," Jowan said firmly while tightening his grip upon Alona's hands.

"Jowan, let go of me," Alona pleaded. "Let me do this! _Please_!"

Jowan gave a small but deliberate shake of his head. "No, Alona," he said softly. "This is the way it has to be. No more running…not for me."

"No!" Alona stomped her foot. "No, Jowan...it can't end like this. It _can't_!" Her bottom lip trembled. "We grew up together in the Circle. We were _family_! You and Anders were my brothers..._you_ were my _brother!"_

"And you were my _sister_," Jowan said fervently. "Come here," he murmured while gently pulling Alona against the bars and hugging her as best he could through them. "Come here, sweet sister." He pressed a kiss to Alona's forehead before resting his own forehead against hers. "I am _so_ sorry to have involved you in this…I knew the danger it posed to you to help me escape the Circle, and yet I _still_ involved you." He closed his eyes. "And then I poisoned the Arl at Loghain's request, and here you are _again_ trying to help me out of the predicament that resulted from my _own_ stupid decision, but you _can't_…and I _won't_ let you try."

"But I _can't_ just stand back and _let _this happen," Alona protested through her sobs.

"Yes, you _can_," Jowan replied before pressing another kiss to Alona's forehead. "You can and you _will_ because I deserve my fate. I _deserve_ whatever fate the Templars decide for me…whether it be Tranquility or death, I would deserve it for what I did. I _knowingly_ endangered you because I was selfish. I knew that it was more than possible that any collateral damage involved in my and Lily's escape from the Circle would be _you_…and I did it anyway…"

"You did it for _love_," Alona protested. "You did it so you and Lily could be together. There's nothing wrong with-"

"Stop it, Alona," Jowan interjected gently as his gaze met his friend's. "Stop making excuses for me, little sister," he murmured while moving a hand up to affectionately stroke Alona's hair. "What I did was _wrong_. I knew it at the time just as I know it now, and I've come to terms with it…you should too. I don't blame you for _any_ of this, and neither should _you_."

Alona leaned into Jowan's hand. "Jowan…"

"Be strong, sweet Alona," Jowan urged softly with a sad smile. "You and Anders were always the strong ones out of the three of us. You were both called for your Harrowings earlier than most apprentices, and you both passed them with flying colors. _Yours_ was a quiet strength, Alona... never brash and impulsive like Anders', but I knew it was there. I could _always f_eel it radiating from you...and look where that strength has gotten you," he said with a proud smile. "You are a Grey Warden...you are _free._ The Templars...the Circle...they can't touch you now, and it is all because you were strong when I was weak."

"You are _not_ weak," Alona said firmly through her tears.

"Yes, I _am_," Joawn replied. "The Templars saw it…the First Enchanter saw it. That's why they never called me for my Harrowing. They _knew_ I would fail. I realize that now. _That _was why the order was given to make me Tranquil. If I had just _let _them…none of this would have happened. The Arl wouldn't have been poisoned, Lily would not have been take away to Maker knows where…and _you _wouldn't have been forced into conscription to escape your own punishment for helping me." He sighed softly. "I was always the weaker one of the three of us, little sister." He moved his hands down to once again take ahold of Alona's before giving them a gentle squeeze. "It all happened because I didn't have your strength and inner resolve…don't let that strength of yours fail you now. Do _not_ throw away your life for me."

"But…"

"Alona Amell…you _have_ to let me go," Jowan said gently. "You can't worry about me anymore. _My_ fate is sealed, but _you_…you have the Blight to worry about, and I want you to promise me something."

"Anything," Alona murmured sadly. "You know I'll do anything you ask of me."

"_Live,_" Jowan said while letting go of Alona's hands so he could reach up and cup her face once more. "I want you to survive this Blight, and I want you to _live_. Forget about what _I_ did, and live _your_ life. Be happy. Live and be happy with that young knight of yours."

Alona blinked. "Alistair? How did you know about us?"

Jowan smiled sadly. "Because the way he looks at you is the same way I once looked at Lily. That young man _truly _loves you, and should the two of you survive the Blight, I _know_ that he will spend the rest of his days making you happy. _Let_ him." His thumbs lightly brushed over Alona's cheeks. "Promise me that you will do this." He tensed at the sound of armored footsteps approaching. "Promise me that you will live the life _I_ never could."

Alona's hands flew up to grip Jowan's wrists and she gazed deeply into his eyes. "I promise," she whispered fervently. "I promise to do _everything _you've asked of me."

Jowan smiled sadly as his dark eyes welled up with tears and gently brushed away the fresh tears on Alona's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Warden, please step away from the cell."

Alona tensed, and her emerald eyes were wide with panic now as they gazed into Jowan's.

The moment had come.

"Alona...let me go," Jowan said softly. "Let me go," he repeated a little more firmly when Alona's grip tightened upon his wrists. "Let me go, little sister."

"Warden? Warden, we need you to step away."

"Be strong, little sister," Jowan whispered. "Let me go."

Alona closed her eyes and slowly let out a breath. When she opened her eyes again, her face was schooled into a calm expression as she gave Jowan a small nod before letting go of him and stepping away from the bars.

"That's my girl," Jowan whispered with a sad smile as he finally allowed the tears he had been holding back for Alona's sake to fall. "That's my strong girl."

The Templars cleansed the area of magic before opening the cell door, but Alona did not waver even though her body was left weak from the Templar 'magic'. She would not allow them the satisfaction of knowing just how vulnerable she was at that moment. In any case, she had to remain strong for Jowan as he was clapped in magic-nullifying irons. The sudden fear in his eyes drove her to be his source of strength, and when he was led from his cell, it took all of Alona's self-control to not throw her arms around him and sob into his robes.

"Goodbye, Alona my sister," Jowan said in a voice that had an underlying tremor. "Remember me as the man I once was _before_ all of this madness began," he said as he was led away.

"Goodbye, Jowan my brother," Alona said in as clear a voice as she could muster as her friend was led away from her forever—her arms wrapping tightly around herself. "I will _never_ forget you."

* * *

**A/N:** If you're a fan of Dragon Age as well as of my writing, _please_ check out my newly-published novel, _Dragon Guardian: Fire_, the first novel in my Dragon Guardian series. The link for the website can be found on my profile page!


End file.
